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We don't Care Enough to Give You Constructive Feedback

Seth Godin:

But if we did, it would take a lot to speak up in a useful way. It's difficult to be a generous skeptic. Not only do we have to be clear and cogent and actionable, but we cross a social boundary when we speak up. We might be rejected, or scolded, or made to feel dumb. And of course there's the risk that we'll get our hopes up that something will improve, only to see it revert to the status quo.

So, most of the time, we don't bother.

Read be sure to read Seth's while post. It is really powerful.

My question to you is, how do you let people know that feedback is valued?

Obviously, the simple answer is change.

But sometimes the feedback is just complaining. Sometimes the feedback is the wrong answer. Some may give feedback that a state test is not good or that the common core shouldn't have been adopted in our state. That is feedback, but it is not constructive.

So here is where Seth's post takes on a different meaning. It is about constructive feedback, not just feedback. Seth is writing this from the perspective of giving feedback. I am reading it from the perspective of receiving feedback.

Seth changes perspective to receiving feedback:

But when someone does care enough (about you, about the opportunity, about the work or the tool), the ball is in your court.

The idea then, is caring. Someone who cares about you, the work you are doing, or the

I heard on a podcast this weekend that "trust makes conflict the pursuit of truth."

Trust and caring need to exist for contsructive feedback to exist.

As someone giving feedback, I need to make sure that those I am giving the feedback to know that I care about (the mission) and trust them.

As someone receiving feedback, I need to seek constructive feedback from those who have shown they care about the mission and that have a reciprocal trust relationship with me.