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A Divorced Mom's Perspective on Forgiveness

Tracy M:

No matter how well you think you’re hiding it, if you haven’t forgiven, if you are saturated in blame and anger, the kids know it. They can see it and they can feel it. If you can’t forgive for yourself (I know that space- it can take time, but the effort is so worth it.) do so for your kids. Eventually you will start to believe you’re worth healing, and then miracles can and do happen.

There are some really powerful feelings stated here. How amazing that this woman can forgive her ex-husband enough to let him into her home like this. That takes maturity and an understanding of oneself that few of us posses.

Someone once told me that when you are the leader, you have to always be the adult. Others can whine, complain, throw temper tantrums, but the leader has to maintain a professional, mature attitude and appearance. How vital it is for us to do that for our kids.

Divorce is hard. It means that a great promise was broken. I've seen another couple recognize that their divorce separated them from each other, but neither of them from their kids, and it is inspiring to see them interact and make things work, even though they may be uncomfortable. And they are willing to do it for their kids.

My parents divorced at a time that I had the most supportive safety net I could imagine. And it still rocked my world. Thankfully, my parents have been supportive of my life and allowed each other the respect of speaking appropriately of the other and not using us kids as weapons of mass destruction against each other. There have certainly been hard times and repercussions from their choices, but we kids have always known they both love us. And, 5 of the 7 kids were already out of the house when the divorce happened.

I wish we could all be a lot more forgiving of our faults, and recognize that we are not perfect, that we will make mistakes and will have opportunities to grow and become better.